Click here to go back to the main page!

Thoughts and ponderings of Toobis:
June 14th, 2004

"What's so great about being in the armed forces?"

I'm sick and tired of listening to people babble on and on about how "thankful" we should be for the people "serving" in the armed forces! The stupid songs, parades, and war monuments are enough to drive me CRAZY. Like it's some GREAT ACCOMPLISHMENT to walk into a recruitment center and write your name on a piece of paper! It takes NOTHING to get into the armed forces, as long as you're not a RETARD (haha, even the military doesn't sink THAT low!), and after you're enlisted you get a few years of GUARANTEED WORK, FOOD, and FREE TRAVEL. Wow, SOME SACRIFICE huh?

People in the armed forces are the most lazy, ignorant slobs I have ever met. Ever wonder why so many veterans end up on street corners holding up signs and begging for money? They claim it's because of shell shock or agent orange or something stupid like that, but the fact that they joined the military tells me they probably weren't the SHARPEST TOOLS IN THE SHED to begin with! They spend a few years shooting up Vietnamese villagers or torturing Iraqi prisoners and then spend the rest of their lives being revered as heroes! Well, NOT ON THIS SITE you LAZY BASTARDS.

I wish I could do a half-assed job at work and still know my job was secure for years to come! I probably work harder than they do in 3 hours pushing carts around WAL-MART (aka HELL HOLE) than they do in a week! Sure, a FEW of them are on the front lines, but the VAST MAJORITY of them work in plush behind-the-scenes jobs! Many of them even get tens of thousands of dollars to use on college after they've "served"! I guess they don't want them going to school BEFORE they serve because anyone with ANY LEVEL OF INTELLIGENCE AT ALL would not be fitting for CANADA's (or the UNITED STATES) military! Why? They want you to be able to BLINDLY FOLLOW ORDERS without questioning them AT ALL, so that when you're blowing the brains out of some third-world villager you won't ever stop to wonder if perhaps what you're doing is WRONG!

I think the worst part of it all is the stupid war monuments dedicated to the people who have died in a particular war. You knew what you were getting into when you signed up! More people have died in traffic accidents than in wars, but you don't see us putting up statues of people driving! There's no songs on the radio "dedicated to people who drive cars to work"! Here's how I see it: They joined the armed forces in the first place, which means they couldn't maintain a REAL JOB at WAL-MART or ANYWHERE, so their death probably wasn't very much of a loss to our society anyway! I guess in some ways I'm kind of glad the armed forces exist. It helps purge our society of MORONS.

I hope I've helped change your mind about the guys (and girls, though I doubt girls in the military do much more than sew and cook and make up rape allegations!) that receive constant praise from the MEDIA. I'm not saying we completely get RID of the military, that would be MORONIC. I'm just saying we should pay them less, and stop PRAISING THEM CONSTANTLY FOR SIMPLY DOING THEIR JOB. And stop putting up a war monument every time some kid steps on a landmine! Man, I'm pissed.


Another soldier is laid to rest. But don't feel bad: He had a plush government job, and died knowing his next meal, food, shelter, and future college education was paid for. All at the expense of tax payers like YOU AND I.

This is Toobis, SIGNING OUT.

Click here to read more of my rants.